Radical Change and Shifting Worldviews:A Qualitative Inquiry into Transformational Spiritual Experiences

Radical Change and Shifting Worldviews:

A Qualitative Inquiry into Transformational Spiritual Experiences

Introduction

Description of Research Question

Due to its often mystical and apophatic nature, spiritual transformation has often gone unexamined psycho-socially and phenomenologically. Sadly, since the advent of modernity, such experiences have frequently been reduced to biology, behavior, and neuroscience at the cost of trying to hold and understand these experiences holistically. While some work has been done on this issue from differing fields of inquiry, there appears to be an important rationale for further study. Namely, spiritual transformations have been spoken about through philosophical giants such as Soren Kierkegaard through his existentialism. Likewise, phenomenologists like Edith Stein have taken up this subject and so too have psychoanalysts like Jacques Lacan. To give some context, it’s helpful to look at these three traditions to glean some insight on how this problem has been historically taken up. Kierkegaard in The Sickness Unto Death describes spiritual transformation as a kind of leap (as he does in many of his other texts). He states, “To believe is indeed to lose the understanding in order to gain God” (Kierkegaard 2013). There is a kind of existential change that occurs and appears to entail a surrendering or submission of the self before the receiving of the transformation—a dialectic of sorts. Speaking from a Lacanian framework, Srdjan Sremac writes the following regarding the transformative conversion experience: “The religious subject is (trans)formed in imaginary testimonial identifications with the other and experiences conversion through (canonical) language in relationship to the (symbolic) Other, but the real is the ‘constitutive lack’, the basis of both the cause and object of spiritual desire” (Sremac 2016). Here we see the work that has been done in the three registers of Lacanian psychoanalytic theory. Via Lacan we can make a more holistic sense of how the experience occurs in different aspects of one’s psyche. This then works as a great model for working holistically; however, there is something to be gleaned from Edith Stein as well that works to expand this picture. Describing Stein’s conversion experience in her text The Science of the Cross, the text states, “At first, after her conversion she thought she would have to renounce all that was secular and live totally immersed in God, but then she realized that, even in the contemplative life, you cannot sever all connection with the world, that the deeper you are drawn into God, the more you must go out of yourself to the world in order to carry the divine life into it” (Stein 2002). The extension here is one of lifeworld or being-in-the-world. The question is one of, how does one go about being in relation to others after such a transformative experience. Each of these thinkers do well in their exploration; however, the gap that emerges is one of qualitative comprehension; that is, a qualitative examination of the experiences of those who have had these experiences and taking these experiences up in a holistic manner that paints a comprehensive picture rather than simply an existential one, a psychoanalytic one, or an existential-phenomenological one. Therein is the identified problem of this study, the rationale for it, the context from which it arises, the gap in the literature, and the significance for this study.

Regarding the topic of spiritual/religious transformation/conversion, to provide some reflexivity, I directly see myself in this research topic. When I was 25, I too had a strong religious conversion which radically changed my beliefs, values, behaviors, and my daily living. I converted to Catholic Christianity from a general, but somewhat Baptist, protestant, Christian worldview. While my research study is about general religious/spiritual conversion, I directly relate to my research participant in that we both were converts to Catholic Christianity. Moreover, I share some of the major themes such as radical worldview shift and a direct impact on my behaviors and practices which my participant illustrates in the interview. This sharing of experience includes things like philosophy, experience of the Eucharist, and the leap of faith from the ethical and aesthetic mode of being to the religious mode as described both by my participant and by the philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard.

My subjective sharing of this experience certainly has guided not only my interest in the subject, but also the desire to speak with others about their conversion experience, how they share their experience, and to inquire into what themes may be extrapolated and spoken of collectively. My participant also shared these desires and thus there was a lot of convergence between my own subjectivity as a researcher, and not only the topic at hand, but also the similar experiences that were discovered. One notable shared experience is the experience of the Eucharist and how such a mystical experience can radically change one’s being-in-the-world. It seems clear that this sharing of experience bodes well for the research question at hand and the theoretical framework I am utilizing. However, it will be important to note that in future interviews on the subject, not all participants may share the same experiences as me and that I need to be careful not to force any data into preconceptions.

Study Objectives

Moreover, the purpose of this study is to conduct qualitative interviews with those who have experienced religious/spiritual transformation in the lives with the intent of capturing such experiences holistically through interpretative phenomenological analysis and utilizing the work of Soren Kierkegaard, Jacques Lacan, and Edith Stein as a theoretical framework from which to work from after the data is constructed via IPA. Therefore, to end where this statement of purpose began, the research question at hand is: What does it mean to have an experience of spiritual transformation and what is it like?

Method

Research Design Overview

The research design created for this inquiry is of a qualitative nature—namely an interpretive phenomenological one. Following from this approach to research, this study utilizes data that is primarily drawn from interviews with human participants. In this case study, given that the data comes from only one participant, data is drawn from an interview with the sole participant. Furthermore, when considering data-analysis strategies, an application of interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA) is utilized in this study to formulate codes, categories, and finally themes to be interpreted and discussed in light of previous literature on the subject at hand.

The rationale for this research design comes from the nature of the research question; that is to say, the research design, given its focus on the phenological experience of the subject and the theoretical framework being rooted in existential-phenomenology and psychoanalytic thought, best lends itself to this kind of inquiry and research question. The question at hand—what does it mean to have an experience of spiritual transformation and what is it like—is a highly subjective phenomenon and it, in and of itself, is one of existential and psycho-social importance. Therefore, an inquiry of this nature calls out for or finds a certain appropriateness for such a design.

Data Sources

Researcher Description. In a continued effort for reflexivity and bracketing, following the tradition of Husserl’s phenomenology, the following description of the researcher has been included in addition to the previously included subjectivity statement. This researcher acknowledges personal interest in the topic of inquiry at hand and also acknowledges that, as the post-structural tradition tells us, a complete bracketing of the researcher is never possible. Rather than trying to create barriers between researcher and participant, this researcher leans into the always relational nature of inquiry. By being transparent and up-front regarding this reality, a kind of paradox emerges where reflexivity both allows the researcher to be in relationship to the participant honestly and is more able to name what is theirs and what belongs to the participant—this is rather similar to the attention to transference that is found in the psychoanalytic schools of psychology. Following this understanding, it is appropriate to say that this researcher has been interested in this research question for many years and has conducted prior research into the subject at hand. Additionally, a relevant piece of background information is that the experience of the participant is very similar to this researcher’s own spiritual journey and that the two share the same spiritual tradition—namely, Catholicism. It therefore should be noted that this researcher has a predisposition of agreement with participant in descriptions of experiential spiritual life change and in terms of theological and philosophical assumptions.

Participants. As stated previously, in this case study, there is one participant included. This participant is a late 20s, Caucasian, Christian male. Relevant information regarding the participant is his being American from the state of Georgia, his being raised in a protestant Christian family, and his being married and having four children. These facts are relevant in the sense that they are central to the participant’s experience of spiritual transformation either by their setting-the-stage for the experience or by how they have been impacted by his transformation. For example, his being a protestant was directly related to his experience in becoming Catholic in that his struggles with protestant theology led to his inquiry into Catholicism. Therefore, these cultural considerations directly impact the data of this study.

Researcher-Participant Relationship. Additional relevant information to the methodology of this study includes the prior relationship between this researcher and the participant. While there are no ethical considerations relevant to the prior relationship, it is worth noting, for the sake of transparency, that this researcher has known the participant for some months before the interview and attends the same Catholic parish as the participant. However, the information gleaned from the interview data was not previously discussed nor was the participant asked to give any kind of previously disclosed answers to the questions asked of him during the interview process.

Participant Recruitment

Regarding the recruitment of the participant, he along with other individuals were asked via text message about whether they would be interested in participating in this study. No incentives or compensation were given to potential participants and data was collected in person with the participant via a laptop used as a recording device. The number of participants was arrived upon due to the exclusionary nature of a single case study and given the limited parameters of time allowed for this study.

Participant Selection

This participant was selected due to the inclusion criteria of having had a spiritual transformation experience and wanting to participate in the study. While additional individuals were interested in participating in this study, this participant was the first to agree to do so and thus due to meeting the selection criteria and given his willingness, was selected to participate accordingly.

Data Collection

Data-Collection Procedures

For data collection, this researcher utilized Otter.ai software for the purposes of capturing the audio of the interview with the participant and transcribing the words that were captured by the software. The collected data was secure and only accessible to the researcher and the participant interviewed. No others were present during the collection of the data used in the interview and the interview took place at the home of the researcher. The total length of the recorded interview was just over 51 minutes; however, the researcher and participant spoke for an additional 20 minutes after the interview to discuss the experience of the interview and to answer any questions the participant had regarding the interview and use of the data. The identity of the participant has been protected from start to finish in order to keep anonymity secure.

The interview was extensive in its engagement in that the participant was able to reflect on questions asked and to give in depth answers to these questions. The questions asked of the participant were open-ended and the content of the questions were shared previously with the participant before starting the interview; therefore, the questions asked were previously constructed; however, the researcher did, in keeping with the phenomenological attitude, use follow-up questions with arose from the interview in a conversational manner.

Furthermore, in a continued effort at reflexivity, this researcher did utilize memos to record the thoughts that arose for the researcher throughout the interview and to describe any experiences of interest that occurred for himself during the interview process. These were later reviewed during the data analysis process.

Data-Analytic Strategies

Regarding data analysis, this researcher utilized interpretative phenomenological analysis in order to keep to the participants own words and to endeavor to capture the essence of the information conveyed by the participant. This researcher has had training in IPA and has used it in the past in previous research projects. To explicate the process of analysis, first, the transcription of the interview was read multiple times and then codes were created by identifying repetition of ideas and phrases given by the participant. This required numerous passes of the transcription. Next, these codes were put into categories given their similarity to other codes created by this researcher. Finally, these categories were used to create themes identified and constructed by this researcher for the purpose of demonstrating findings and providing discussion of the research question as they find conversation with information gathered in the literature review. Throughout this process, these steps of analysis were shared with the participant in order to maximize transparency and also to maintain accuracy of the data. Regarding the unit of analysis, the whole interview was utilized as the data source.

Methodological Integrity

Before moving now to the findings and discussion of the data, a summary regarding methodological integrity is appropriate. Given the transparency of the data analysis, the claims that will now be made are warranted in that the participant has approved of their accuracy and relevancy. Likewise, their fit into the greater body of prior literature suggests precedent for their claims as they pertain to the research question at hand. By following from the theoretical framework of this inquiry and utilizing questions which attempt to grasp the spirit of the topic at hand, it can be said that by keeping to the research methodology the integrity of the inquiry was retained. Moreover, in utilizing direct quotations from the data, findings discussed are grounded in evidence. The findings to be discussed are both insightful and meaningful to the research question at hand in that they reflect the real-life experience of someone who has experienced transformational spiritual change resulting in radical life change and a shift in their worldview, behaviors, and psycho-social reality.

Findings

During this particular case study, five themes were constructed regarding transformative spiritual experiences: Certainty and Doubt, Conviction of Truth, Worldview and Impact on Daily Life, Support and Research, and Growth and Integration. First, we will present the findings regarding these themes and later we will provide a discussion and interpretation of these themes in the discussion section of this study.

Certainty and Doubt

The first finding of this study presented a conflict that occurs intellectually when undergoing spiritual transformation, the conflict of certainty and doubt. Since these experiences are so life altering, they bring up core questions of what one believes and how do they know that they believe. The participant stated, “And so, then I remember like asking myself, okay, what is true? Like, which way is God's truth, no matter what it is, no matter what, like, if God does exist, and there is an eternity and my soul is at stake in this eternity, then maybe I should figure out what God's truth is.” Presented here almost chronologically, the participant shared that the first issue of how this plot develops, for him, began with the question of finding out whether something is true before being transformed by an explicit conversion formed by complete assent of the will. He continued in saying, “I can't like know with 100% without-a-doubt certainty, that Catholicism is true. But I've I wanted to have as much if I was going to convert or make a change.” So, while the search for certainty for this participant is admitted to not be fully possible intellectually, there is a kind of weighing of certainty vs doubt and a need to act on this conflict at some point. Each human being can relate here more generally in decision making and the need to weigh options; however, what appears to be at stake is of particular importance due to the gravity of said decision.

Conviction of Truth

The participant also illustrates the experience of feeling of needing to act on their conviction of what they believe to be true. In this finding, we see that spiritual transformation appears to be experienced as a kind of call that must be responded to. Further into the interview, the participant spoke directly of this feeling of conviction when he stated, “But then, when I reached the point of being convinced of the truth of the Eucharist, there was, there was, no, at that point, there was no turning back.” Here the participant suggests that once one reaches this stage in the development, one must act and there is a kind of full plunge into spiritual transformation. In a later quote the participant further illustrated this feeling of being convicted by truth: “Alright, I gotta. I'm completely convinced. like I cannot . . . If I don't become a Catholic, like, I'm going completely against what I'm being called in like, No, it's true. And I have to pursue truth and follow the truth. Especially since I'm convinced of it.” This experience might be comparable to having an experience where one feels like realizing a decision before them is the “right one” to make or have made.

Worldview and Impact on Daily Life

When discussing how their decision to convert affected their lifeworld, the participant also spoke about how such a transformative experience touches every part of one’s life and that this is not limited to either solely positive or negative consequences. Regarding negative consequences, the participant stated, “There's people who say really mean things. Like, told my wife you should take the kids and leave him because he's going to hell, but if he wants to go to hell, like, they would say that I forfeited my spiritual responsibility as a father and so now the like authority has fallen onto my wife since I've now become a heretic.” Based off this quote, we see that the word transformation is not used lightly in framing the experience in question for this study. Such experiences appear to have direct real-world impact regarding how others can change their relation to you based off your own changing. Additionally, the participant spoke about how the transformation changed the way they thought about significant parts of their life. Fox example, regarding morality, the participant stated the following worldview shift: “I would just not do bad things because you're just not supposed to do bad things. But now, understand, there's some kind of connection between the divinity and humanity of Jesus and doing the things that I should because it is what is in my best interest.” This quote gives further credence to how radical these experiences are since they can change the very root level of one’s psychological and philosophical constitution.

Support and Research

An additional conflict emerged in the data regarding social support of one’s endeavor into potentially changing worldviews. Based off the following quote from the participant, one finding suggests that there may be a relationship between how one is supported in their research and their own motivation to engage in transformative spiritual endeavors: “I think both when I was in the process of converting my friend who converted originally, he was a big help, though not pushy about it. He would help support me and help send me resources to do research on my own, but he was he was very much a good friend because he would not spoon feed me the answers” Spiritual transformation for this participant is the kind of thing that one has to seek for themselves. While one can be supported in guidance, it is the kind of thing that requires an individual act of the will and personal journey. What does appear to be useful as a support is a support that does not seek to do the work of the seeker, but rather one who encourages and enheartens the seeker.

Growth and Integration

Lastly, the final finding of this study is the theme of growth and integration. While there can be negative consequences, especially socially, when one goes through a transformative spiritual experience, the findings here suggest that there is always overall spiritual growth. When speaking about how he is normally very rational and “heady” the participant stated that a new part of himself unfolded in his transformation: “I got very emotional and it's like, Jesus really is present in the Eucharist and like, I can go to the Catholic Church and take part of it.” Prior to mentioning the experience of his transformation, the participant spoke in terms of truth and certainty, reason, and knowledge; afterwards, he mentioned opening-up emotionally and spiritually. Additionally, this participant spoke of the spiritual integration that occurs where some intellectual understanding begins to have a deeper spiritual and lived reality: “…realizing like, you should do these things and you should not do these things is so that you can become more prepared to partake in the thing that you're about to take part in in eternity which is sharing in the divinity that Christ has. And so, all the things that we go through in this life are to help orient us and point us and shape us into that which we will become one day.” In a sense, this seems maybe akin to knowing something vs. understanding something or hearing vs listening; that is to say, it appears that perhaps there is a qualitative difference in one’s orientation to the world after a spiritually transformative experience.

Furthermore, to act as a further demonstration of these thematic findings, it is sometimes helpful to utilize a visual model to display information. Please see the following chart that illustrates the data of these findings. Notice that the chart shows how widely spread each of these finding codes were presented in the data. This exemplifies the multifaceted and extensive nature of transformative spiritual experiences and how they affect every part of an individual’s lifeworld.

Discussion

Now that these findings have been shared, it is time to try to make some sense of the themes and what we can learn about them given theory and the data from our participant. Like the approach before, this researcher will now address each of the themes in turn: Certainty and Doubt, Conviction of Truth, Worldview and Impact on Daily Life, Support and Research, and Growth and Integration. Furthermore, this discussion will continue with the interpretive use of the works of Kierkegaard, Sremac, and Stein in seeing similarities and differences between the findings and existent literature.

Certainty and Doubt

Since certainty and doubt are a central theme of human experience more generally, it is not surprising that we see this as one of the themes that emerges when discussing transformative spiritual experiences. With each decision we make there is either a conscious or unconscious weighing of what we believe to be true and the doubts we may have about it. This becomes more palpable and concentrated when it comes to talking about the very way that we relate to the world with our view and relation to it. One thing to note here is the participants note that we cannot ever be fully certain. Indeed, we are always working with approximations and with the evidence we have. Therefore, this desire for certainty appears to be a continual feature in our lived experience—for, we could not continue to grow otherwise. Kierkegaard echoes this in his Sickness Unto Death when he states, “However, a self, every instant it exists, is in process of becoming, for the self [potentially] does not actually exist, it is only that which it is to become. In so far as the self does not become itself, it is not its own self; but not to be one’s own self is despair” (Kierkegaard 2013). There is a kind of pain with becoming—a despair as Kierkegaard states. For, just as spiritual transformations are joyous, they also include growing pains. In this study, the data echoes the sentiment. The task of weighing certainty and uncertainty is not an easy one and while transformation births new life, something is also lost. This fact shines through in the data of this study in the participants realization that there can be no turning back with radical change, when we must become, we must become.

Conviction of Truth

In a similar theme moving from certainty and doubt and regarding the previous discussion on becoming, there is the theme of conviction; this might be best understood as the moment before the Kierkegaardian leap of faith. This is an interesting phenomenon as the seeker is on the precipice of radical change where they both make an ultimate act of freedom and also surrender to something larger them themselves. Speaking on the psychological turmoil one can expect with transformative spiritual change, Kierkegaard states, “There is not a single human being who does not despair at least a little, in whose innermost being there does not dwell an uneasiness, an unquiet, a discordance, an anxiety in the face of an unknown something” (Kierkegaard 2013). Indeed, in the face of this unknown something, this plunge, we see in this case study that the participant becomes almost frustrated in the very cadence they use to describe the feeling of having to transform and become. Therefore, we can glean that transformative spiritual experiences can be dizzying and anxious experiences. This speaks exactly to how heavy and deliberate the use of the word “transformative” is when describing these experiences and we can infer that these are not like other everyday experiences of change; rather, it is a radical change.

Worldview and Impact on Daily Life

Moreover, if these findings are accurate and if the literature describing these experiences is indeed one of radical change, we should again not be surprised to see that another theme in the data is one of impact on worldview and daily living in all aspects of life. Indeed, the participant of this case study spoke in detail of the cost of his becoming Catholic through his discussion of the negative social consequences he experienced. Something that can be gleaned here is that the losses experienced are worth it. Turning once more to Kierkegaard, he states, “Oh! how pitiable a person who has never felt the loving urge to sacrifice everything for love, who has therefore been unable to do so” (Kierkegaard 2013). It seems that in the very act of sacrificing one’s old self in becoming transformed, one is transformed. The participant of this study stated it this way when asked what advice he would give to fellow seekers: “Why are you looking into this? Why are you considering converting to something else? And if you're pursuing truth and the ultimate good then like, what better reason can you have than that? So yeah, keep on.” Therefore, continuing with the discussion of how radical and impactful these transformative experiences can be, we see that those who have experienced them conclude that it is not only worth a lot, it is both worth everything and there is no better thing to pursue.

Support and Research

When discussing the theme of support and the process of researching, it is helpful to turn to Edith Stein who in her experience was guided by St. John of the Cross much in the same manner as the individual in this study. She writes, “So he writes for contemplative souls, and at a very particular point along their way he wants to take them by the hand, at a crossroad where most halt, perplexed, not knowing how to proceed” (Stein 2002). There is a kind of gentle encouragement that should be the method of one who is guiding or accompanying someone throughout a transformative spiritual experience. This insight, as echoed by the participant of this study, might be helpful to those who are struggling with a loved one who is going through their own spiritual journey and not knowing how to support them.

Growth and Integration

Lastly, and keeping in-line with the other insights of this discussion, there is the theme of growth and integration to analyze. Following a transformative spiritual experience, which is a kind of growth in and of itself, there is the process of integration. Even if one’s entire world changes, integration still occurs reflexively and in our attempts to convey our experiences. Sremac, in an attempt to get at the totality of such experiences, states the following:

“conversion is a matrix of representations, a matrix of symbols, narratives, imaginations, which are lived. The real is that which escapes symbolization and is outside of complete representation—that which cannot be articulated in testimonial talk. No matter how converts try to put their experience of spiritual transformation into language (to conceptualize it with the help of ‘canonical language’), there is always something left, something they have missed out on, something that goes beyond language.” (Sremac 2016)

Since language is a construction of symbols that merely point to experiences but can never capture them, it is impossible to truly convey an experience with perfect accuracy—much less spiritual transformative experiences. As Sremac states, following Jaques Lacan, there is something always left out and there always will be. However, this does not mean that we succumb to pessimism and dismiss the project altogether; on the contrary, when we try to discuss these experiences, we circle around something real and when we engage in these discussions together, we touch something familiar in one another. Indeed, that is the integration spoken of here in this study when the participant stated, “all the things that we go through in this life are to help orient us and point us and shape us into that which we will become one day.” Integration is the beginning of the process of further growth and becoming.

Conclusion

For the conclusion of this study, we will review key findings and identify central contributions and their types. Then we will complete an evaluation of the strengths and limitations of the study. Finally, we will consider limits of the scope of transferability and implications for further research.

Key Findings

Key findings of this study include a shared similarity of the experience of the case study participant and the theorists utilized in this research study. The following themes were identified when inquiring into transformative spiritual experiences: Certainty and Doubt, Conviction of Truth, Worldview and Impact on Daily Life, Support and Research, and Growth and Integration.

Central Contributions and Contribution Types

The contribution of these key findings is significant in further developing the literature regarding transformative spiritual experiences and provide qualitative phenomenological data to elaborate upon the prior supporting literature. These contributions can be utilized to compare to other related experiences, elaborate on what is entailed in these experiences, and to help those who are going through this experience along with those loved ones who know someone experiencing spiritual transformation.

Strengths and Limitations

Regarding strengths and limitations, one limitation has already been mentioned and can be reiterated here: “…understanding of a conversion experience is possible only on the level of its narrative and symbolic interpretation” (Sremac 2016). Using qualitative inquiry, one will be left with narrative and symbolic interpretation. However, this limitation would assume that some data is not privy to this limitation and therefore, depending on one’s philosophical framework, would be subject to this same limitation—which in turn would beg the question of the limitation. This study can certainly be improved upon in the inclusion of more data and indeed that is an implication and reason for future research. Furthermore, the scope of transferability of this study is somewhat narrow due to the highly subjective nature of the phenomenon; however, as shown in this study, there is reason to believe that these experiences are shared and can be not only discussed in detail, but that insights can be gleaned, and thematic connections made between different experiencing subjects.

References

Kierkegaard, S. (2013). Sickness Unto Death. Simon and Schuster.

Sremac, S. (2016). “Conversion and the Real: The (Im)Possibility of Testimonial Representation.” Pastoral Psychol 65, 555–567.

Stein, S. E., & Ocd, J. K. (2002). The Science of the Cross: The Collected Works of Edith Stein, vol. 6. ICS Publications.